What Happens When You Don't Follow Protocol? This
by DStabler
Summary: When Elliot, Fin, and Munch go to arrest a perp and don't follow protocol, can the team live with the consequences?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own this, but hey. There's still time :) *Smiles wickedly* **

**Author's note: So. This is my very first Fan Fic. I would love reviews. No flames please. I just want every one who reads this to remember that it does have a terribly depressing ending. I'm going to cry trying to write it. Thank you :) R/R!**

He kissed Liv gently on her full, red lips and pulled her close. "I'll be back soon, Hun. I promise. I have never broken a promise to you."

Olivia Benson pulled back and looked Elliot Stabler in the eyes. "You better not let anything happen to you, Stabler. Our wedding is in two weeks. You have to be there."

He chuckled softly. "I'll be there Liv. You can't have a wedding with out the soon to be Groom."

She pulled him close again and hugged him tightly. "I love you, Elliot."

"I love you, too, Olivia." He pulled away from her. He planted another soft kiss on her lips, and she deepened it a little bit before he pulled away. He turned towards the door. He put his hand on the knob and looked back towards Olivia. He stared at her for a minute. She was standing there watching him. She had her arms crossed across her chest and a forlorn look on her face. She gave him a small smiled, he turned, and walked out of the house. He knew how much Olivia wanted to be there today when Elliot nailed this guy.

He jumped in his gold SUV, started it, and slowly backed out of the driveway. He gave their small two bedroom house one last look, and drove towards the precinct.

When he arrived, he quickly parked next to an unmarked squad, turned the SUV off, and jumped out. He ran upstairs, and threw open the door to the Squad Room. Captain Don Cragen, John Munch, and Odafin Tutuola were all sitting around, waiting for him. When he came running in, out of breath, Cap smiled at him.

"No need to run, El," He chuckled. "We know where the guy is, and he can't leave."

They had been working on a case for the last two weeks. A 16 year old girl, looking very similar to Elliot's Kathleen at that age, was raped and killed. They had been looking for this guy for weeks, and they finally had him. Elliot knew _exactly _what he was going to do to the sick pervert. There was going to be no mercy. Elliot was going to kill him.

"Give me the address. I'll go pick him up," Elliot almost growled.

"Calm down Elliot. You'll have your go at this guy. But when you pick him up, try and bring him back _alive._" Cragen put heavy emphasis on the last word. He pulled a post-it note off Fin's desk, scribbled an address, and handed it to El.

Elliot glanced down quickly, long enough to realize he knew the place. It was the hotel over on Fifth Street, the same one he had gotten Kathy pregnant in during his senior year.

He crumpled the paper up in his fist and shoved it into the pocket of his tan work slacks. He turned on one heel and headed for the door. He felt a hand on his shoulder and stopped. He turned around again to see Cragen. "Don't do anything stupid El. Remember Olivia and Abby. They'd be lost without you."

Elliot paused, thinking about his newest child. Abby, brown hair green eyed angel. His little girl. She was 19 months old, and Elliot's life, besides Olivia. He loved his little girl more than anything in the world. He would be completely lost with out her. His thoughts then drifted to the 16 year old rape victim. He had to get vengeance for her. He could only imagine what her parents must be going through. He couldn't even imagine what it'd be like to lose Abby before she even had a chance to live. He had to get this guy. He had to do it for her parents, and for her. He deserved to rot in jail for the rest of eternity. That's when Elliot realized Cragen was still standing there staring at him.

"Sorry Cap. I'll be careful. I promise. I mean, C'mon, What would this team be without me?" He laughed, but he knew it sounded fake. Truth is, he was pissed. He was seething. He had to get this asshole. He had to lock him up and make sure no one ever had to deal with him again.

Cragen smiled a forced smile at his son like figure. He had always thought of this team as his kids, and he couldn't imagine this place without any of them. It was already weird without Olivia here. Plus, Elliot was supposed to take over for him when he retired. He knew how much Elliot wanted it. Cragen turned away from Elliot and looked at Munch and Fin. "You two follow him in an unmarked squad. Do not go in with El. Just wait until he gives the signal. But be alert. Give him ten minutes, maximum, then go in with him, whether he calls or not." The older man turned back to Elliot. "You give them the signal to come up as soon as you get outside his room. Do _not_, I repeat not, enter that room without them. You saw how gruesome he was to a 16 year old innocent female. Who knows what he has set up for the cops. Get in, get the guy, and get out. Okay?"

Elliot nodded slowly, as did Fin and Munch. Fin grabbed the keys to the unmarked sedan, and walked towards Elliot. Munch followed slowly. Elliot gave Cragen one last smile, and walked out of the squad room. He walked towards his SUV, since he forgot the keys to the marked squad. He hopped in the driver's seat as Fin and Munch jumped into the sedan next to him.

He started up his SUV and squealed out of the lot. He was pretty sure he left tire tracks. He slowed down a bit, remembering he didn't have lights or sirens. His thoughts drifted towards Olivia, his fiancée. She had been off from work for nearly two years, with Abby. The first five months were Doctor's orders. Strict bed rest. They thought something had been wrong with the fetus and they didn't want her to strain herself. The last nineteen months had been Olivia's choice. She wanted to stay home with her. She had gone back for a month after turned one, but didn't like the thought of Abby at a Sitter's. Elliot didn't either. So Olivia had gone back home. She didn't know when she'd come back, but she loved bringing Abby in to visit. Everyone at the precinct loved her. And everyone missed Liv, too. He did like knowing that someone was at home at all times with Abby. But he missed having Liv at work. He missed seeing her beautiful face across from his desk when he sat down to do paperwork. He missed taking naps with her in the cribs when they had to work late and didn't make it home.

He had divorced Kathy four years ago and started dating Liv soon after. Two and a half years ago Liv got pregnant with Abby. They were both ecstatic. Sic months after Abby was born, Elliot bought a ring, got on one knee, and proposed. Liv immediately started crying, and about strangled Elliot she was hugging him so hard. The wedding was in two weeks, and Elliot was looking forward to it. He loved being with Olivia and he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her.

He had also planned an amazing honey moon. He wouldn't tell Liv, but he planned on taking her Paris. He was super excited. He got Munch to take Abby, and they were going to have three weeks all to themselves. He knew Liv would love it, even if they didn't like not having Abby. But he knew that Munch would never let anyone touch her. He'd probably take those three weeks off.

Before Elliot realized it, he was in the parking lot at the hotel. He quickly shut off the SUV, and jumped out. He locked the doors and stuck the keys in his pocket. He nodded towards Munch and Fin, and headed towards the doors. He got into the lobby before he realized he didn't know this guy's room number. He walked over the front desk and flashed his SVU badge. "Davis Knox. What room is he in?" Elliot growled at the guy.

The clerk didn't even look at him. "That's confidential. I cannot tell you."

Elliot smacks his fist down on the counter, and shoves his badge into the guy's face. "You see this? This means I'm an SVU detective. And you know what you're doing by not telling me? You are breaking the law. It's called 'Obstruction of justice.' And if you don't tell me what the hell room this guy is in, I will arrest you right here and now. This guy needs to rot in jail, and you need to tell me where he's at. Now." Elliot stood there, breathing heavily.

The clerk looked up at Elliot, Panic written all over his over face. "W-what was his name again Detective?" The guy stuttered.

"Davis. Knox." Elliot replied, enunciating each word. "I need his room number, how long he's been here, and how many guests he's had. Now."

The guy started shaking, and started typing rapidly on his keyboard. "Davis Knox. Room number 513. He's been here for three days, and hasn't had any guests."

Elliot took off as soon as he got the room number. He ran up the stairs, deciding the elevator would take too long. He found room 513 and pulled out his gun. He radioed Fin. "Room 513. Head up now. I'm right outside."

"10-4," came Fin's reply. Elliot heard the door slam when Fin responded. He stood outside the room for a minute, and decided they were taking too long.

He positioned himself outside the door way, prepared to kick in the door. Olivia and Abby flashed through his mind, and he hesitated. He knew it was against protocol to kick the door open without announcing who it was first, but he didn't want to give this bastard a chance to hide. He wanted to kick the door open, and take him out. He just wanted to get this bastard off the street.

He decided just to kick the door open, when the stair door flew open and Fin and Munch came running in. "Hang on Elliot!" Munch shouted. "Have you knocked yet?"

Elliot shook his head, and got ready to kick the door in. John grabbed his shoulder. "Stop, Elliot. We need to follow protocol. You have to knock and announce ourselves."

"There's no way in hell I'm doing that Munch. I want to get in and get this guy. He's been here three days. He hasn't opened his door. Who knows what he's got set up. If we announce ourselves, he's going to set up a trap and hide. We need to kick open the door and nail him. Now. Please Munch, you saw that girl. Imagine if that's Abby in a few years…We need to get him."

Munch stared at him for a minute, then looked at Fin. Fin looked into Elliot's eyes, then looked back at Munch. He nodded slowly. Munch looked back at Elliot. "Fine. But if Cragen asks, we followed protocol."

Elliot turned back towards the door and held his gun up. He kicked the door open in one, swift kick. And that's when it happened. 

**End Note: Cliff Hanger! What happens next? Do they get Davis? What happens to Elliot, Munch, and Fin? Keep reading and I'll tell! Please review. I'm a beginner, so I want to know what I should change, and what I need to improve. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I still do not own Law and Order SVU. However, my friend and I do own Abby. That's all. And the plot. Now that's all. We also own Davis Knox. The fucked up killer. **

**Author's note: I was told that my first chapter had "Choppy sentences." So I will attempt to make this chapter better. No guarantees though :) But this is chapter two, with Olivia. Don't worry, we'll get back to the sexy man later. But right now, we must get to know Abby a bit more :) So, without further ado, here's chapter two! **

Shortly after Elliot left the house, Abby woke up. Olivia walked slowly up the stairs, worrying about Elliot, and wishing she could be there. But he had Munch and Fin, so he should be ok. But still, the feeling of dread stayed with her.

Olivia opened the nursery door and peeked in on her angel. Abby caught sight of her and started to giggle. Olivia couldn't help the smile it brought to her face. She loved Abby so much, and was so happy the day she got the news she was pregnant. She also remembered the terror she felt five months in when her doctor told her Abby might not survive the pregnancy. They thought Abby had the umbilical around her neck, and it would have strangled her. But the doctors were wrong and Abby Kate Stabler was born a healthy, happy, bouncing baby girl. She was eight pounds exactly and was a generally happy baby. She never screamed in the middle of the night when Olivia didn't feed her on time and only cried occasionally now.

But Olivia still didn't like the thought of leaving her with someone else, so she stayed at home with her. She didn't know when she would go back to work, but hoped it would be soon. As much as she loved staying home with Abby, she worried about her Elliot, all alone without her. She knew he had Munch and Fin, but that didn't comfort her. She missed being out there with all the action. She missed chasing perps, and arresting perverts. She missed holding Elliot back in the interrogation room when things got too heated. She missed falling asleep with him in the cribs when they both had to work late. She just missed the precinct. She missed it all.

She picked Abby up out of her crib and walked back to the door, her thoughts still drifting. She was thinking about going to back soon. She was sure that Kathleen or Maureen wouldn't mind watching Abby. They absolutely adored her. Kathy was her only issue. Kathy hated the fact that Elliot chose Olivia and they had a daughter. She had already told Elliot she wasn't coming to the wedding. But all the kids were. They were so excited, especially Kathleen, who was Olivia's maid of honor. All the kids loved Olivia, and Eli wanted to move in with the two of them. Elliot and Olivia had talked about it, and decided he could when Abby was older.

Olivia was back in the kitchen before she realized it. She laughed as Abby stretched her arms towards her high chair, obviously ready for breakfast. Olivia sat her down, buckled her in, and made her some oatmeal. Abby was a good baby, and never threw her food everywhere. Olivia set the bowl down in front of Abby and gave her a spoon, even though she knew Abby would end up eating with her hands.

Olivia sat down in a chair across from her daughter with a cup of coffee. As she was watching Abby, her thoughts slowly drifted back to Elliot. How he was doing, if they'd caught the perp, what was going on out there.

She thought about calling Cragen, but didn't know if he was with them or not. She didn't want to be the cause of something happening to one of them. She would never be able to live with that guilt. They were all family to her, and losing one of them would ruin the entire team. So she thought with only her thoughts, and her precious baby.

When Abby finished breakfast (Olivia was right; she used her hands to eat) Olivia decided she needed a bath. She carefully picked her out of her high chair and carried her to the bathroom. Abby liked her baths with lots of bubbles. They fascinated her. That, in turn, fascinated Elliot. When he gave her baths, he loved to just watch her play. He had once told Liv how much she fascinated him.

"I love it, Liv," He had told her. "Watching her play in all those bubbles, knowing she's just an innocent little girl. Knowing she hasn't seen the evils we see everyday. What I would give to be that innocent again…" He had trailed off quietly, getting lost in his own thoughts.

She remembers that conversation so well because she felt the same way. She knew if her little Abby saw even half the things Olivia had seen, Abby would never be the same again. Liv herself had changed so much. She knew Elliot was torn up over a lot of it, but he didn't show it. He was more changed by his past than what he saw on a day to day basis.

But she knew how shook up over this case he was. He had shown her the case file, and it terrified her. A 16 year old female, raped and killed. The girl looked almost exactly like Kathleen did at that age, and it freaked Elliot out. Munch had told her Elliot swore it was Kathleen when he first saw the body.

Olivia knew how much Elliot wanted to catch this guy and beat the shit out of him. She wanted to do the same thing. The way she had died made Olivia sick. She had been tortured for days on end before anyone had found the body, so cause of death was hard to place exactly. But Olivia had seen the body, and death would have been a sweet release for the young girl. She had been beaten, raped multiple times, cut deeply in the stomach, thighs, arms, and throat. Melinda believes it was a cut to the throat that finally killed her, but she wasn't entirely sure.

Olivia started filling the bathtub, setting Abby down beside her. "Bubbles!" Abby cried gleefully, watching Olivia pour the bubble bath in.

Olivia smiled at her, not entirely able to laugh right now. "Yes honey, lots of bubbles for mommy's little angel."

Abby put her hands on the side of the tub and pulled her self up. Olivia held her sides gently as Abby reached into the tub and started playing with the bubbles already there. Olivia lifted her up and set her down gently in the tub. She laughed at the look on Abby's face. Pure happiness. It made Olivia's heart swell. Abby began to splash around, popping some bubbles, and throwing others around. Olivia scooped up some bubbles in one hand, and set them down on Abby's soft brown curls.

Abby looked up at Olivia, and she couldn't help but laugh. Abby had bubbles in her hair, and covering every inch of her face. Oh how she wished Elliot was here right now; he'd get a kick out of this. Abby grabbed a small handful of bubbles and attempted to throw them at Olivia. "Mommy!" she shouted when she did.

Olivia laughed again, and scooped some bubbles out. "What's up, Angel?" She asked her daughter.

"Bubbles!" Abby shouted again, smacking her hands down on the surface of the water and making it splash everywhere. She soaked Olivia's shirt, and Olivia laughed.

"You're supposed to keep the bubbles _in _the tub, Baby Doll," She said, laughing. That got Abby to start laughing too, and Olivia forgot about Elliot and the perp for a minute. "Let's get you cleaned up," Olivia told Abby, grabbing the baby soap.

Abby obediently leaned her head back as far as she could. She never liked the hair washing part, but she never threw too nig of a fit.

Olivia poured a small amount in her hand and shampooed Abby's hair. "Since you're being so good, what do you say we get you some ice cream after your bath?"

Abby's face lit up at the mention of ice cream. "Ice cream!" She shouted, almost tipping backwards into the water. Olivia caught her and turned her so she could rinse her hair.

"Yes ice cream. But you need to be good and let Mommy rinse your hair, okay?" Abby always hated this part the most. When she was younger, she would squirm so much she always ended up with shampoo in her eyes. Even the no tear stuff hurt them, so they had to be really careful.

Abby sighed, but tipped her head back reluctantly. "Hurry, Mommy," She pleaded.

"I'll be quick baby, I promise." Olivia turned the water on and grabbed a big glass she kept on the edge of the tub. She got Abby's hair rinsed out, and got a towel out. She picked her up, wrapped her in the towel, and pulled the plug. "You were very good for Mommy today. Daddy will be so proud of you when he gets home," Olivia cooed to her daughter.

"Daddy!" Abby shouted. She absolutely loved Elliot. When just Olivia was there, Abby never wanted to be put down. But as soon as Elliot came home, Abby never wanted Olivia to pick her up. It made Olivia happy to know how much her baby loved her daddy.

Olivia carried her into the nursery and set her down on the changing table. She got her all dried off and put a diaper on her. But she decided to wait until after the promised ice cream to dress her. Abby reached for Olivia again, and she picked her up. She dropped the towel in the laundry room, and walked towards the kitchen. She put Abby in her high chair again with a sippy cup of milk. Abby drank quietly, watching Olivia as she got out the ice cream, a bowl, and a spoon.

Olivia got Abby's bowl of strawberry ice cream, but decided she didn't want any right now. She set the bowl down in front of Abby and watched her daughter happily as she ate her ice cream.

She couldn't help but let her thoughts drift back to Elliot. She was so happy the night he had finally proposed, and was looking for the wedding. She had no clue where they were going on her honeymoon; Elliot wouldn't tell her. He wouldn't tell her if they were taking Abby or not. She hoped they did, but at the same time, she hoped they didn't. Her and Elliot hadn't had good sex since Abby was born, and Olivia was ready for some. She missed Elliot, and she knew that he would end up taking her someplace really romantic and special, even if he wouldn't tell her where.

She felt herself beginning to worry again, wondering why someone hadn't called to tell her what was going on. Elliot had been gone for nearly four hours now, and she hadn't even gotten a text message yet. It really worried her. She thought again about calling them, but decided against it. She didn't want to be the one person who screwed everything up.

She was jerked out of her thoughts by Abby crying. She looked up and realized Abby had finished her ice cream and wanted down. Now. Olivia jumped up and grabbed Abby's dish and spoon. She grabbed a clean washcloth from a drawer and dampened it. She walked back to Abby, who was still fussing, and began to wipe her down. She had ice cream all over her face, chest, and stomach, and Olivia didn't want it turning into a sticky mess later.

She got her all wiped down, picked her up, and carried her to the nursery. She pulled out Abby's favorite dress, and was in the process of putting it on when the doorbell rang.

"Coming," She yelled, quickly finished putting Abby's clothes on. She put Abby back on her hip, and walked towards the door.

She opened it to find Captain Don Cragen standing there somberly.

"Hey, Cap. What's up?" She asked.

"Olivia, I think we need to talk. It's about Elliot."

**E/N: Ok. I think from that we can all kind of guess what happens. But if you can't, that's okay, because I'm not done with it quite yet! But be prepared, because the next few chapters are going to be the most depressing things I've ever written. I'm prepared to cry while writing them. Now. Please please please PLEASE review my story? Reviews make it easier to write! Thank you very much!**

**BFE/N: (Best Friend End/Note) I know she sucks with commas, but I like it so far so READ THE FUCKING FANFIC. Got it? :) Good.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I still do not own Law and Order SVU. Dick Wolf does. If I owned it, I don't think I'd be writing this. I'd be putting some freaking smut in that show. E/O smut at least. Maybe some others. But I don't. So I can't. **

**A/N: So I know by the end of this, a lot of you people are going to hate me. But I promise, this is the only time I'm writing a FanFic like this. So just bear with me, and in the future, LET THERE BE SMUT (My smut shall be dedicated to kiss the girl 54. I already have it written, it just needs to be typed and published…)!**

Olivia froze, and found that breathing was already difficult. She didn't want to hear what captain had to say, and she knew it. She also knew that she was beginning to panic, Cap was staring at her, and she was squeezing Abby too tightly. She vaguely saw Cap take Abby from her, and come in the house.

Don led Olivia to the couch, and made her sit down. By now, Olivia was more aware of her surroundings and realized he had taken Abby to the nursery. He came back and sat on the couch beside her.

"Olivia. It's Elliot." Cragen said softly, pulling her into his arms.

Olivia felt too numb to do or say anything.

"Him, Munch, and Fin went to go arrest this guy at his hotel today. Elliot kicked the door open, and the guy was waiting for them. He shot Elliot Liv." By now Cragen was crying, and Olivia knew that Elliot was dead. "Fin and munch got him, Liv, but Elliot…He's…" Cragen broke off, unable to say anymore due to the tears that were now running down his face.

Olivia still couldn't quite believe what Cragen was saying. "Elliot's ok, right Cap?" Olivia asked fearfully.

Cragen let out a sob, and shook his head. "He's dead Liv. He died before the ambulance got there."

Liv froze, not comprehending what he was saying. How could Elliot be dead? Big, strong, muscular Elliot? Her fiancé Elliot. There's no way he could be dead. Cragen was just playing a sick joke.

"I'm so sorry Liv…I know how much you loved him…" Cragen was sobbing uncontrollably now and Liv pulled out of his hug to stare at him.

That's when it hit her. Don Cragen was not playing a sick joke on her. Elliot Stabler was dead. The reality slammed down on Olivia, making her break. She felt the tears start pouring down her face, and she realized she couldn't breathe. She started gasping in between sobs, needing her Elliot, but knowing she was never going to see him again.

Cragen pulled her into his arms again and just held her. Olivia cried on his shoulder, not even caring how pathetic she sounded. Elliot had promised her he would come back. Elliot told her he would never leave her. She couldn't believe this. She couldn't believe that her Elliot would let anyone kill him. He was stronger than that. She sobbed for what seemed like hours, until she didn't have any tears left. She knew she would be crying a lot over the next few months, even years.

When she regained some of her composure, Cragen let go of her, got up, and grabbed the box of tissues she kept on the living room coffee table. He handed them to her and she took one, blew her nose, and set it on the table. She took another one and began to wipe her tears, being careful not to think about Elliot.

"Where are Munch and Fin?" She asked Cragen cautiously.

He sat back down on the couch, and Olivia really looked at him for the first time since he showed up that day. He looked even older than normal, by at least twenty years. She realized that losing Elliot must be as hard on him as it is for her. At that thought, Olivia broke down again. She couldn't imagine living life without her Elliot, and she didn't want to even think about it.

Don Cragen pulled Olivia back into his arms, and just let her cry. After another ten minutes or so, she sat up and grabbed another tissue.

"I'm sorry Cap," She told him, wiping her eyes again. "You must be as torn up as I am right now." At that moment, Abby began to cry in the nursery. Olivia got up and walked to get her only baby. She picked Abby up and held her, just as Cragen had held her, until Abby's cries subsided.

"Daddy!" Abby cried.

Olivia hugged Abby tighter, understanding that somehow Abby already knew. "Daddy's not coming home, Baby. He's not coming home…" Olivia trailed off, feeling the tears falling down her face again. Her and Abby stood together in the nursery, crying, until Cragen came back in.

"Olivia?" He asked quietly, leaning in the doorway, the same way Elliot used to.

She turned around to look at him, with Abby still crying on her shoulder. She knew how pathetic she must look right now, with tears drying on her face, and sniffling pathetically. "Yea?" She asked him, worried about what he was going to tell her. She still hadn't gotten an answer as to where Munch and Fin were.

"Fin and Munch are okay," He told her, noting the look of worry on her face. "They're back at the station now, answering questions. But Olivia?" He asked quietly. "They want to see you. They spent the last few moments of Elliot's life with him, and they need to talk to you. They said that Elliot told them some stuff that they were told to tell only to you. They're grieving as much as you and I are. Losing Elliot will be hard on us all."

Olivia began to cry again and hugged Abby tighter to her. Abby noted this change in Olivia and began to cry again too. Cragen came over and pulled both sobbing girls into his arms. He wasn't sure how Abby knew what was going on, but figured it must be because of the way Olivia was acting.

Olivia quickly regained her composure again and pulled back from Cragen. "Let's go see them," She told him, and walked towards the door. "I want to hear what they have to say."

Cragen followed her slowly, stopping in the living room to grab his keys. When they got outside, Olivia buckled Abby into her car seat and jumped into the driver's seat. "What do you think you're doing?" Cragen asked with shock in his voice.

"I'm driving to the station," Olivia replied, starting the car.

"I don't think so," Cragen opened the driver's side door and stood there, waiting for her to get out. "In your state of mind, I'm driving."

Olivia sighed, but understood that fighting him would get her no where. She slowly got out of the driver's seat and walked to the passenger side. When she got in, she buckled up and waited for Cragen to get going. She looked only out the window and Cragen understood that she needed a few minutes to deal with this. They arrived at the station shortly, and Olivia got out before the car was in park. She unbuckled Abby and ran inside to the elevator. Cragen quickly followed her, really worried about how she was going to act when she walked in the squad room.

As he should be. When he walked into the squad room, Olivia was on her knees bawling, still holding Abby. She was right next to Elliot's desk, holding the picture he had of the three of them. It had been taken on the day Abby was born. Olivia was holding little baby Abby, who was wrapped in a little pink blanket, and crying. Elliot was leaning down, looking at the camera, and smiling.

Before Cragen could walk over to Olivia, Fin and Munch came running out of the cribs. They saw Olivia there, and Fin sat down beside her. He took Abby and the picture and gave both to Munch. Without a single word, Fin took Olivia into his arms and her while she cried. Munch stood next to the two of them holding Abby, and trying to hide his tears. Cragen began to cry, looking at all three of them, and realizing Elliot was never going to be in that mix again.

Munch looked over his shoulder at Cragen. He nodded once and turned back to the group. Cragen knew what it meant. He walked over to them slowly, and led them all into his office away from Elliot's desk. He closed and locked the door, then went to sit behind his desk. Olivia had taken Abby back, and had attempted to stop the flow of tears for the time being.

Munch and Fin sat in the chairs next to Cragen's desk and Olivia went and stood by the window with Abby. Abby had fallen asleep for the time being and Olivia wanted to keep it that way.

Munch cleared his throat. "Um, Liv?" He asked tentatively, worried about her response. No one knew how emotional she'd be.

Olivia turned to face him, but didn't say anything.

"Elliot wanted you to know how sorry he was for this. He wanted me to tell you that this was not supposed to happen. He wanted you to know how much he loved you, and Abby, and how he was not supposed to die today." Munch began to cry again. "He wanted me to tell you that he loved you more than anything in this entire world and that if he could go back in time, he would have done everything differently." He looked away from Olivia, who had been crying since he said Elliot's name. He looked at Fin, then Cragen, both of whom were crying too. "He told me to tell you to check the bottom drawer of his desk when you feel up to it, and to tell you he'd always be with you. He said he'd always been in your heart, and that he was sorry he left you like this." He began to cry harder. "His last words were 'Tell Olivia I love her.'" He dropped his face into his hands and began to sob. He didn't want to deal with this. Elliot was like his son. Knowing he was the reason of his death killed him.

Olivia walked over to him and gave him an awkward one armed hug due to Abby. "Thank you Munch. For being there to catch his last words."

"I wouldn't have missed them for the world Liv. I know you needed to know them. He didn't want to leave you like this Liv. He wanted to get married to you, and he wanted to help you raise Abby, and he wanted to have more babies with you. This was not supposed to happen!" He screamed the last word, and beat his fist down on Cragen's desk.

Olivia handed Abby to Cragen and wrapped her arms around Munch. "It's okay Munch," She told him, not believing her own lie. This was not okay. She had lost the man of her dreams, and would never get him back. This was terrible.

Munch began to cry again and Olivia looked desperately to Fin. His chair was empty and he was standing near the window, exactly the place Olivia had just left. "This is not okay," She heard him whisper quietly, talking to himself. "Not okay at all. No one should be dead."

Olivia was about to walk over to him when he whirled around, hurt, anger, and desperation in his eyes. "We have to tell them Munch."

Munch shot to his feet and glared at Fin. "We can't do that Fin. That'll ruin our memories of El."

"We have to tell them!" Fin screamed, angry tears streaming down his face. "Elliot's dead because of us Munch. They have the right to know." Fin dropped to his knees and began to cry again. Munch stood rooted to the spot, unable to move.

"You're right," He began. "We have to tell them."

At this point, Cragen stood up, holding a still sleeping Abby. "What do the two of you need to tell us?" He asked nervously, not sure if he wanted to hear the response.

"We need to tell you why we're the reasons Elliot's dead." Fin slowly got to his feet. "We need to tell you why it's our fault."

**E/N: So, II know it's a terrible chapter, but I wasn't sure how to write this one. The grief period was easy to write, so if it sounds like crap, that's my writing skills. Or, lack of in this case. So you guys should review and tell me what I need to work on. But This is not the end of this story, and I will keep writing it if people want me to. And for my next story, It's going to be E/O smut. I promise. But after that one, I need ideas for stories, so you guys should comment with your ideas. I'm sorry my notes are so long, I have a tendency to go on and on and on and on and…well, you get the picture…But thank you for reading! It means a lot to me!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I do not own Law and Order: SVU. I only own Abby and the asshole that killed Elliot. **

**A/N: I am so sorry I haven't updated in so long! I've been busy with school, and homework and all my classes, and just haven't had the time! So, that last chapter made me cry as I was typing it. I'll admit that. Now I'll be honest, I have no idea how I'm doing his funeral. Any ideas to help with that? I'll have to make that chapter five…Hmmm…so maybe this will be a shorter chapter…We'll see…Any way, thank you so much for the reviews! They mean a lot! And kiss the girl 54, I'll try some Felinda smut, but the one I have written already is E/O. But I'll try writing some Felinda. Not sure how it'll come out though…And it won't be in this story. It'll be my next one. It's a one shot.**

* * *

><p>Olivia froze and Cragen just looked at them, shock registering in his eyes. "You guys? How could it be your guy's fault?" Cragen asked them, unable to move or do anything.<p>

"It's my fault," Munch admitted, collapsing back into the chair.

"It's mine, too," Fin said, walking up behind Munch and putting a hand on his shoulder.

"Let's stop playing the blame game and just tell us," Olivia said quietly, still shocked. She took Abby from Cragen and went to sit under the window.

"You're right," Munch replied quietly. He took his gun and badge off and set them on Cragen's desk. "I think you'll need these after you hear the story. And even if you decide not to fire us, I'm too old for this. I'm quitting."

"What? Munch, No!" Olivia shouted, jumping up and waking Abby in the process. "This team is already torn up without Elliot. We can't lose you too!" Abby began to cry and Olivia mindlessly began to rock her and pat her back.

"Liv, Stop. I'm quitting. And after you hear my story, you won't want to deal with me anyway." Munch said to her.

"Knock it off John. This is as much my fault as it is yours," Fin told him, still standing behind him.

Before any one could blink, Munch was on his feet glaring at Fin. "This is not your fault Fin. I didn't stop Elliot. I'm the reason he's dead. I got Elliot shot. I'm the one who should be dead. _Not_ Elliot. I'm done with SVU. I'm done dealing with this. I'm just too fucking old." John began to cry again and sat back down in his chair. Liv, Fin, and Cragen were too shocked at his outburst to move.

Fin had jumped back, spreading his feet and getting ready for a fight without realizing it. When he _did _realize it, he walked over to Olivia and put his hand on her shoulder. He stared silently into her eyes and took Abby from her. She took that as her cue to go talk to Munch.

She walked slowly to the sobbing man and kneeled on the floor beside him. "Listen to me Munch. Elliot would not want you to sit here right now and cry. He'd want to know what happen, so we can prevent it from happening to one of the other agents. So why don't you start at the beginning and tell us what happened?"

Munch swallowed hard and attempted to stop his tears. "It's all my fault Olivia. If you don't hate me by the time I'm done telling you this story, I will be shocked. Elliot shouldn't be dead right now," His breath hitched, and he let out a sob before continuing. "I should be."

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><p>"<em>Room 513. Head up now. I'm right outside," came Elliot's voice over the radio. He sounded tense, but Munch knew that was just from the excitement of getting ready to take down a perp. <em>

_Fin grabbed the radio and hit the button. "10-4," He replied back. He threw his door open and jumped out. Munch followed closely as Fin ran inside and looked frantically for the elevator._

"_Over there," Munch grabbed his arm, pulling him to the left, to a sign that said ELEVATORS in all capital letters. Fin hit the button repeatedly until Munch grabbed his arm. "Calm down Fin. Right now. We'll get to Elliot. I promise." They waited another five seconds before Munch became impatient. "Screw this. Find the stairs."_

_Munch and Fin both frantically began to look around again. Munch felt Fin grab his arm and yank him to the right. He started running even before he saw the sign for the stairs. Fin yanked the door open and both he and Munch took off running as fast as they could toward the fifth floor._

_Fin was still in front of him, with Munch following closely behind. They got to the fifth floor and Fin threw the door open, Munch passing him when he saw Elliot. _

_Elliot was standing in front of the door to room 513, getting ready to kick the door open. _

"_Hang on Elliot!" Munch shouted. "Have you knocked yet?"_

_Elliot shook his head, without even turning to look at Munch. John Munch ran to the younger agent and grabbed his shoulder. "Stop Elliot. We need to follow protocol. You have to knock and announce ourselves."_

"_There's no way in hell I'm doing that Munch. I want to get in and get this guy. He's been here three days. He hasn't opened his door. Who knows what he's got set up. If we announce ourselves, he's going to set up a trap and hide. We need to kick open the door and nail him. Now. Please Munch, you saw that girl. Imagine if that's Abby in a few years…We need to get him," Turning to face John, desperation obvious in his blue eyes. _

_Munch watched him without seeing him. Instead, he was seeing Abby. But not as cute Abby now. He was imaging her at sixteen, found dead in some back alley, killed much the same way this sixteen year old had been. Munch blinked and then looked at Elliot again. He stared into his eyes, trying to read what was hidden in the blue irises. He turned his head to look over at his partner, needing to know his point of view on this. _

_Fin blinked before looking his partner in the eyes. He nodded slowly, hoping he wouldn't regret his decision. _

_Munch gave a barely perceptible nod back to his partner, knowing Elliot wouldn't catch it in his current state. "Fine. But if Cragen asks, we followed protocol." He backed away from Elliot slowly, watching as the younger detective got into his kicking position. For a brief moment, Munch wanted to grab him and tell him to let him do it. He couldn't bear it if something happened to Elliot. He reached towards the Detective, about to grab his arm, when Elliot kicked the door straight off his hinges. _

_After that, everything happened in slow motion. He and Fin reached for their guns at the same time without realizing it when a gunshot rang out. Munch watched as Elliot dropped his gun and stood straight up. He looked down at his chest and that was when Munch realized Elliot hadn't worn his bullet proof vest. _

_Munch saw a red spot appear on the front of Elliot's shirt and start to spread. He saw Elliot grab his chest, then pull his hand away and stare at his hand. He looked ahead of him, probably at Davis, and then fell to the ground. "Elliot!" Munch screamed. He heard another gun shot ring out, and he saw Fin standing in the doorway. He panicked for a minute, thinking Fin had been shot too, then realized that Fin had shot Davis. Munch threw his gun down before running and crouching beside Elliot. _

_Elliot was still bleeding, but barely. His left hand was covering his bullet wound and Munch pulled it away. He panicked when he saw all the blood, knowing Elliot wouldn't survive this, but allowing himself to hope it anyway. He pulled Elliot's hand away and used his own hands to cover the wound. _

"_Munch," Elliot's voice, barely a whisper. "Tell Liv I'm so sorry. Tell her this wasn't supposed to happen. Tell her it's my fault; I wasn't careful enough. Tell her how much I love her, and Abby, and tell her I wasn't supposed to die today. Tell her I had every intention of coming home tonight. Tell her she means the entire world to me, and that if I could back in time, this wouldn't be happening. When she's up to it, tell her to check the bottom drawer of my desk and I'll always be with her no matter what. I'll always be in her heart and I'm so sorry I'm leaving her like this." Elliot's breath hitched and he spoke his next words so softly, Munch had to lean even closer to catch them. "Tell Olivia I love her." Elliot coughed and blood came out of his mouth. He sighed before closing his eyes for the last time. _

"_Elliot?" Munch yelled, not caring who heard. He shook his shoulder lightly. "Stay with me Elliot. You can survive this!" Munch felt Fin grabbing his shoulder, but he didn't care. He couldn't lose Elliot, not like this. _

"_Munch!" He heard Fin yell. "He's gone. You got to accept that." _

_Detective John Munch felt tears streaming down his face as he looked down again at the dead Detective. He had failed Elliot. This was all his fault. _

"_C'mon man. We need to get Davis. A bus is on its way. There's nothing we can do man."_

_Munch looked down at Elliot one last time, watching too wet spots appear on his shirt. He was confused, until he realized they were his tears. He wiped his eyes and whispered, "I'll tell her Elliot. You can guarantee that." He took one last look at the detective before getting up and walking away._

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><p>"You see?" Munch shouted in anguish. "Elliot shouldn't be dead. I should be. I should have stopped him. I should have made him follow protocol. I should've kicked open the door. Elliot shouldn't be dead!" Munch shouted the last phrase, hitting the arms of the chair with each word. He could feel himself losing control, but he couldn't help himself. Elliot should not have died.<p>

Olivia sat there in shock, unable to believe what Munch was saying. Elliot? Not wanting to follow protocol? Munch? Allowing him to do it? Fin? Not stopping either of them and then _shooting _someone? Something wasn't adding up. None of them would do any of that. What was going through Elliot's mind? Why would he take such a risk? She didn't know and her brain was too jumbled to try and figure anything out.

She looked over at Cragen, and she saw him staring down at his desk. She knew what he was thinking; He had three Detectives, one dead, one quitting, and one who had hardly said a word. Three who didn't follow protocol. In order to follow regulations, he technically would have to fire all three, or at least suspend them. But one was dead, one quitting. So that left Fin.

Olivia slowly turned to him. He was standing, staring out the window, still holding Abby. He was also crying. Olivia watched and felt her heart swell when Abby wiped a tear from his eyes. "Don't cry Uncle Fin," She heard Abby tell him.

Liv felt herself begin to cry again and turned back to Munch and Cragen, Wanting to let Abby and Fin have their moment. She really didn't want to hear what was going to happen Fin. She couldn't deal with any thing now as is.

"Odafin Tutuola," Cragen said softly.

Fin turned, shock registering on his face at the sound of his full name. "Uh, yes sir?" He asked, handing Abby back to Olivia and going to sit by Munch.

"I need to know. Why did you two allow Elliot to go ahead with kicking open the door? You know what the procedure is, you should have enforced it." Cragen refused to look up, and Olivia knew how hard this was on him.

Fin stared at the ground and opened his mouth. He swallowed three times before finally finding his words. "Abby, sir. I know it's not an excuse, but I kept thinking of what it'd be like if it had been Abby. That girl looked so much Kathy, too. I forgot about my cop duties, and handled it like I would have if I had been an angry parent. I just wanted him to pay for what he did, Cragen. I put myself in her parent's position, and the pain and hurt that I felt nearly overwhelmed me. I'm sorry, sir." Fin sat down slowly in the chair next to Munch, who had straightened up and was looking at Cragen. Olivia set Abby down in front of her and sat in the third chair. She looked at the fourth chair and felt a pang in her heart when she realized that was Elliot's normal chair.

Abby ran over to Munch and crawled up into his lap. Munch cuddled with her, but stayed looking at Cragen.

"So Munch. Are you serious about quitting? Losing you would impact this precinct terribly." Cragen asked, looking up slowly. "Losing Elliot will be hard to deal with, but I think together, the five of us can do it. But Munch and Fin, understand, if you two decide to stay, I am going to have to suspend you for a month. I don't want to fire either of you, but not following protocol does require some consequences. I don't know how it will work, but I may have to suspend you one at a time. We can't work with hopefully only one detective." He looked to Olivia when he said this, and Olivia knew this was his way of asking if she was coming back.

Olivia nodded slowly. "I'll come back."

Cragen nodded. "This is going to take a long time to get adjusted to. Having one less detective. Especially since he'll be impossible to replace. We'll find someone to do what he used to, but no one can replace Elliot Stabler." He wiped his eyes.

Munch spoke up. "Cragen. I still don't know if I want to stay. This is a hard decision. I'm just getting so old. Today proved I'm not as good as I once was. I really need to think about this."

Cragen nodded again slowly. "Understandable. Now Fin. Do you know what you want to do?"

Fin was staring out the window again. "I killed someone today." Fin said quietly. "I took a life."

"Fin?" Cragen asked, worry touching his voice.

"I want to stay Cap. I want to keep doing what I'm doing. I want theses bastards off the streets."

"Okay." Cragen said uncertainly. He was still watching Fin with concern. "Would you guys be willing to talk to George? Losing a team mate is hard, and I know we're all going to need to recover from this."

Abby yawned and crawled back into Olivia's lap. "We'll go home soon, Baby," She whispered to her quietly. "I'll talk to George," She said to Cragen.

Munch and Fin mumbled agreements.

"Then it's settled. Now every one go home. Tomorrow we need to start arranging his…" He choked on the word funeral, but they all knew what he meant.

**E/N: So this chapter turned out a little longer than planned, but I think that's ok? So anyway, as I said in the A/N, I need help with Elliot's funeral. Is there anyone that might be able to help? I just need like a general description of what goes on at a detective/cop funeral. But it would be a great help. I also would love reviews on what you think of the story! Your reviews make it so much easier to write! I love you guys! **


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I unfortunately do not own Law and Order SVU. If I did, Elliot would be alive, and he'd be mine. Forget Kathy. I'd have him. :-D**

**A/N: So my dear fans, I apologize greatly for the long delay in my writing. I have been researching the twenty one gun salute, to be used specifically in this chapter. Now, normally, police personal don't get twenty one gun salutes. But, as you will recall, Elliot Stabler was once a marine. And marine's **_**do **_**get twenty one gun salutes. So hopefully this turns out okay. This might be the last chapter, but I might do one more chapter set farther in the chapter in order to see how Olivia and Abby are doing. So yea. Here goes. **

The last few days had been stressful. Olivia was trying to explain to Abby why her daddy wasn't coming home, yet also trying to plan Elliot's funeral. The hardest part had been the day after the episode in Cragen's office, when she called his old Marine buddies. She had to explain what had happened and she broke down in the middle of her explanation. After the marine calmed her down, she was finally able to get out what she needed from him; she wanted a twenty one gun salute at Elliot's funeral. It took her a little convincing, due to Elliot not being a Marine for long. But she was eventually able to convince the man to do it. The marine remembered Elliot and after he talked to his superior, he was more than happy to do the salute.

Elliot's funeral was set to start at ten thirty in the church. The burial was going to start at eleven thirty, with the twenty one gun salute starting at noon. Just following tradition. Cragen said that he had covered everything else, and told Olivia just to go home Cragen told Olivia he was going to pick her up at nine thirty the morning of the Funeral.

Nine thirty the morning of the funeral came too quickly for Olivia. Abby woke up screaming at four that morning. Olivia was already awake, having never gone to sleep that night. She couldn't sleep, knowing that today was the last day she would ever get to see the love of her life.

Olivia walked slowly into Abby's room, remembering all the times that Elliot walked down this hallway. She was crying softly as she picked Abby out of her crib, hugging her closely. At least she still had Abby. She didn't know what she would do with out her.

She got Abby dressed into a black dress, then dressed herself. She got Abby her breakfast, but decided she wasn't going to eat. She looked at the clock as Abby was eating, and realized it was only five thirty. Only four hours to go until Cragen got here. She would drive herself to the precinct, but Cragen gave her specific 'no driving' orders. He was afraid of what would happen.

After a few minutes, Abby finished her breakfast. Olivia got it cleaned up, hardly even realizing that Abby didn't get any on herself. Olivia hardly knew what she was doing herself.

Only three hours to go. Olivia took Abby into the living room and turned on Sesame Street for her. It was her favorite show. She normally watched it with…Elliot. Olivia began crying when she thought of that, reality hitting her again and making her realize he was never going to watch Sesame Street with Abby again.

Only two hours left. After Sesame Street was Dora the Explorer. Olivia didn't like that show, but she sat and watched it with Abby. She wasn't even really paying attention.

Only an hour left. It was eight thirty. The sun had come up, and Abby had fallen asleep against Olivia's side. She was being really cute. She was obviously dreaming, with her nose twitching and her eyelids fluttering slightly.

At nine O'clock, Olivia shut off the TV and picked Abby up. She carried her out to the balcony and sat there with her, Abby still sleeping peacefully. At nine thirty on the dot, her door bell rang. She picked Abby up slowly so as not to disturb her and went to answer her door.

Cragen was standing on the front step, dressed up in a black suit. He looked very handsome.

"Good morning Olivia," He said. "You look beautiful." He enveloped her and Abby in a hug.

"Thank you Don. You look very handsome yourself." Abby woke up and reached for Cragen. Cragen took her and gave her a huge hug. Abby then fell asleep in his arms. Olivia and Cragen walked over to his car and Cragen got Abby into her car seat as Olivia got into the front seat and buckled herself in. Cragen finished Abby buckled and jumped into the driver's seat. Then they were off.

They got to the church ten minutes later. Cragen shut the car off and then they just sat there. Neither of them wanted to face what was about to happen.

"Are you okay, Olivia?" He asked, turning to face her, studying her solemnly.

"No Captain. I'm not. I don't want to do this. At all."

"I don't either Olivia. None of us wanted to lose Elliot. None of us want to go through this. But we can get through this together. Deal?"

Olivia began crying again. "Deal," she said, sniffling.

Cragen reached over and gave her another hug, then slowly got out of the car. Olivia followed suit.

She opened up the back door and got Abby out. Abby woke up, saw Cragen, and reached for him again. Olivia handed her off. The three of them walked slowly towards the front doors of the church, avoiding the hearse that was in the parking lot. Olivia didn't like thinking about it.

"The funeral is closed casket," Cragen said slowly, whispering as they entered the church. "But you're allowed to see him before hand if you'd like. They won't shut the casket until right before the funeral begins."

Olivia began to cry again, realizing she was about to see her fiancé for the very last time. In exactly one week, they'd have been getting married.

"I would like to see him again," Olivia told the older man as they walked towards the front of the church.

Up front, there was a mahogany casket, the inside white silk. The top half was open and Olivia knew her El was in there. Cragen stopped halfway towards the front, silently handing Abby to Olivia. Abby was awake and she was staring at the casket up front like she knew who was in there.

Olivia paused a few feet in front of the casket. She couldn't see him yet and that's how she wanted it. She didn't think she was ready. She began to cry slowly as she walked forward the last few feet.

Elliot looked strange. He was pale, his eyes were closed, and there was a look of peace on his face that was never there when he was alive. They had put make up on him to give him a little bit of color, but Olivia could still see the paleness of death coloring his face.

But he was still her Elliot. Olivia switched Abby over to her left hip so her right hand was free. She took hold of one of Elliot's hands that was resting across his chest and just held it. The tears were now flowing freely down her face.

"Daddy?" Abby asked, putting her hand in his cheek. "Wake up, Daddy," She said, shaking him a little bit.

Olivia let a sob escape and hugged Abby to her chest. "Daddy isn't coming back Baby," She told her, completely unsure how to tell her that her daddy was dead.

"Why not?" Abby asked, beginning to cry. "Daddy!" She yelled down at Elliot.

Olivia pulled her closer to her chest, sunk down to her knees, and began to sob in earnest. She couldn't deal with this.

Don Cragen came running over and pulled Olivia into his arms. Fin and Munch showed up right after that and hugged her too. Before she knew it, Fin had taken Abby and Cragen was leading her into a back room.

"It's time for the funeral to begin," Cragen told her. "Are you okay?"

"I'll be okay," She said softly in reply.

Captain Donald Cragen lead her slowly out to the main chamber, where they sat in the second row of pews next to Fin, and Munch, who was holding Abby. Sometime when Olivia had been in the back, the church had filled with people. There were even people outside because the church didn't hold them all.

The priest walked to the front. He was standing at a podium next to Elliot's casket, ready to begin. Everyone slowly got quiet; the only sound the sound of sniffling into tissues. Olivia still being one of them.

"Good morning everybody," The priest began quietly. "Today is a sad day. I believe we can all agree that. Elliot Stabler. He was a wonderful man. I only knew Mr. Stabler for a short amount of time, but during the time that I did, I really liked Elliot. Elliot Stabler was a great man, a great marine, and an even greater cop. He stopped countless criminals and put tons of people behind bars. He got peace of mind for many victims' loved ones. Elliot was a great man.

"Elliot Stabler died of a gunshot wound to the chest while going to arrest a perpetrator. His follow cops, Fin Tutuola and John Munch, were there with him. They got the man who killed Elliot and made sure he had peace of mind when he died. Elliot was going to be married in one week, to a lovely lady named Olivia Benson." Olivia let out a sob when the priest said her name. "They have a 19 month old named Abby Kate Stabler and Elliot loved that girl more than anything in this world. He was a great cop and a great man."

Olivia cried through the rest of Elliot's funeral and hardly heard anything the priest said. She only caught bits of how much Elliot was loved and things like that. Before she knew what was happening, Cragen was leading her out of the church into a marked squad. Fin, Munch, and Abby were in the car behind them. They watched them drape a flag over Elliot's casket, the blue part at his head. He was then loaded into the horse drawn caisson. All horses were saddled, but only the horses on the left had riders.

The caisson was followed by the rider less horse with the backwards boots. It was lead by the marine colonel.

They got to the cemetery shortly, taking only a five minute drive. Everyone parked at the cemetery and Olivia and Cragen got out. Everyone stood around the empty hole in the ground.

They brought Elliot's casket over and it was set near the hole. The flag was then removed. Two marines then folded the flag and handed it to their colonel. The colonel walked over slowly to Olivia.

"This flag is presented to you, Olivia Benson." The colonel handed Olivia the flag, which she greatly accepted.

"Thank you," she said sniffling.

The colonel walked back over Elliot's casket and stood near it.

Olivia clutched the flag to her chest and watched the rest off the burial. The rest of it passed in a blur and Olivia wasn't paying attention.

Before she knew it, they were slowly lowering Elliot's casket into the ground. Olivia broke down as she realized again that she would never see Elliot again. She threw herself towards the hole and jerked as Cragen wrapped his arms around her waist and held her in place.

"Elliot!" She screamed. "Don't take my Elliot away from me!" She went limp in Don's arms, completely breaking down. The captain pulled her away from the grave towards the car. Fin and Munch followed closely.

"Olivia, you need to calm down," Fin wrapped his arms around her waist and hugged her tightly. "Elliot wouldn't want you to be like this. He needs you to move on without him. You need to raise Abby. You need to keep living your life. For Elliot."

Olivia took a deep breath. She took Abby from Munch and held her close to her chest. "I love you Abby. I always will. We're going to be okay," She let out a sob as she clutched Abby closer to her chest.

**E/N: So this is another chapter where I was crying while reading. But I hope you liked it. I didn't include a 21 gun salute because 21 gun salutes are for marines who are really high up. I don't know how high Elliot ever made it, so I decided to just leave it out. Did you know that 21 gun salutes and what they do at army personnel funerals are different? I was researching it, and only presidents, marine colonels, and a few others get 21 gun salutes. But normal soldiers who are killed on active duty, veterans, and some others get a different type of salute. I found that quite interesting. But anyway, I definitely had to include the flag, but I didn't know who normally presents the flag to a loved one, so I just had the colonel do it. So I really hope you enjoyed my chapter. I love you all! Should I do one more chapter, or end here?**


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